I will never understand why people have to start construction at 7:00 AM but for some reason are never doing anything around 3:00 PM.
Slept 6 hours after a 16 hour Sunday. I had a 9th in the $162 6-max and a 7th in the $109 30K GTD. I was fine with how I played in the 6 max, although I went out fourbetting 5-4 suited. I had this Brazilian kid play very well against me, and also I’m pretty sure he held over me. Most of my usual tricks didn’t work. He played great, it was really tough to play with him to my left. Just once in a while the same plays that get me deep also end up screwing me. I was a little irritated because of how I’ve been running as of late. I’ve had several major final tables where I’ve gone out early. Even though this wasn’t a final table it was more of the same…ninths instead of firsts.
The $109 I just ran spectacular in till the final table, where my pair+gutshot+flush draw was no match for the 9-9 overpair. Sometimes I just don’t even want to play those spots. I’d taken many pots away leading up to the final table. I came in as the chip leader and was feeling good and under control…then blah.
I didn’t lose much, which is a victory in itself when you pay $10,000ish on a Sunday, but of course I wanted more. I got really into it, and went out playing a little faster than I have been lately. I also had fun though, and made a bunch of stacks, playing the way I used to play.
I know it looks like I’m out of control when I play but honestly I’m just numb to standards in poker. If I see something as having a profit I do it. My problem now seems to be judging when people are going to deviate from their normal plan. I get gut instincts, but override them so frequently because “I have no statistical proof whatsoever to support this”.
I haven’t enjoyed playing poker this much in a long time. I am really loving to play WCOOP. I just couldn’t fathom the run I’ve been on a few years ago. People play really well now. I know my work away from the game has helped me quite a bit, but people don’t just give me tournaments like they used to.
When I sleep I see the equations in my head. I see the situations. I know I can solve them. I will solve this game. It’s just a matter of time.
Other than poker life has been good. Been making many a scrambled egg and patecito sandwiches. Reading a lot. I’m getting in the habit of studying most mornings. I try to run and read a little of a book I consider to be of real worth every morning. Maybe later I read a book for pleasure, but it’s nice to have a cup of coffee and read something that sets my worldview straight. Then I get a good run in with my poodle and sometimes my girlfriend at the local park. It’s all keeping me chill.
For insanity’s sake I decided to review this morning when I got woken up at 7:00. I think I know the main adjustment I want to make the next time I play. I know what I need to study more. The wild thing to me is how often a poker player will just wing something that they do every single do. I found something I really want to look into but I need someone to help me with the math. I’m hiring a friend to make some special calculators for me because I don’t have the time to do it all by hand anymore. I’m amazed at how lazy I was when all I had to do was play poker, and all I had was money and time. Now I’m looking out for different people, I’ve lost much…all of what I had, and I have bills to pay. I keep it moving and make good money. I’m doing well. I just can’t afford to be as frivolous and stupid as I once was. That and I just don’t have much time anymore.
The further you get into poker without the positive reaffirmation of a big win the more likely you are to lose your mind. There’s few things more played out than a jaded faded reg. 90% of the guys I knew at the start are gone. Some play but you know they will never make money again. I try to give my game a firm logical and mathematical basis, but focusing on that at times detracts from my natural instincts. To fuse the two takes considerable rest and balance in your personal life, neither of which are privileges I can afford right now. Poker is most pleasurable when its done as a serious hobby, and you have other projects to keep your mind off of it. It’s done best when you have the money and you’re playing for the pure thrill of the game.
This is my job. I’m in it to win, but I fear losing my mind. You become so cold to the natural ebb and flow of the game. You find when you rejoin the real world that you’re a more oddly-shaped vessel. I make myself try and feel it. Now I’m a caricature playing up anything that crosses me because I need to feel normal for a second. I don’t mean to be dramatic, but nine years spent gambling for a living and ripping your mind apart leaves an impression. You feel like a blade that’s become dull, with each Full Tilt scandal and theft leaving you less sharpened.
But where would I be without the game?
My Plugs: Check out my vids at Pocketfives Training, contact me for lessons at email@example.com, see other stuff I write with my friends at www.pokerheadrush.com, and follow my Twitter at TheAssassinato