A bad attitude is corrosive. Scientists have proven that a stressful environment literally frays the nerve endings in your head. It stunts learning and emotional regulation. We are all regularly experiencing a feeling that was supposed to be reserved for a tiger chasing us. It is detrimental to feel all the time.
We are all basking in our own aggravated mental filth, and everyone seems to think its normal. I am sick and tired of people not willing to keep their bad mood in check. You are deliberately shitting on my day and well-being. That is not your right.
Don’t give me that, “I just tell you how it is. If you can’t handle it that’s your problem.” No, you’re an asshole.
I talk to many people every day who I would rather not speak to. Sometimes they annoy me or I am having a bad day myself, but I do my best to keep quiet or smile at them. It’s not my right to ruin their day. If they go out of their way to mess with me yes, I have every right to say something. If they make a mistake or their general mood is just dour I can’t really care. It’s a waste of my time and mental resources.
People ask me why I love Costa Rica so much. San Jose, the city I live with, is pretty packed in. Most of the concrete is cracked. The streets are littered with holes. There is a ton of traffic and pollution.
What I like is that during a social interaction it’s not only okay but often it’s expected that you show some emotion and energy. Smiles are normal. You always greet another man with a handshake. Granted, the people here are a little quicker to argue, but when someone is helping you its more socially acceptable to say thank you or to be grateful. When people are having a bad day a lot of them don’t say sarcastic remarks or go after you verbally. They do their best to be polite, and if they can’t be that way they’re quiet.
Obviously, there are assholes in every country, but I seem to get along with people more often. Nobody’s too cool for a hearty thank you. When your Spanish fails they are more likely to laugh with you and try to figure it out.
I was at a live event where I needed an extra ticket to a wrap-up party. I’d done very well in the live tournament, and they seemed to want me at the event. I did a bunch of interviews for the company to help them. I went up to five people associated with the company and no one would help me out, and furthermore nobody cared enough to even try.
Finally, I was put in touch with the player liaison. I explained my case and the woman said she couldn’t help me without my tournament receipt.
I said calmly, “could you please just look me up on the computer next to you. I was invited to this party because of my finish in this tournament, or perhaps you could call-.”
She interrupted me “What, you can’t get your tournament receipt?”
I looked at the phone and the computer. Both of these instruments were less than a foot away from her.
Frustrated by the fact she could be done with searching me on the computer or calling by now, I said, “I can do that, but my hotel is on the other side of this resort.”
“Oh!” she beamed. “So you’re complaining about being in the good part of the hotel?!”
I looked stunned and restated my case calmly, and pointing out, “your laptop is right there. Your phone, is also, right there.”
“Look,” she said to me pissed off, “just get me your tournament receipt, then while you’re having a great time getting drunk I’ll stay here working, okay?” She ended with the psycho throat warble. She eyed me like that girl from the movie May. I moved along and talked to someone who wasn’t a dipshit and got what I needed.
That got me thinking later. What the fuck is wrong with people? This is the player concierge. I wanted to take one more person to a party. If you’re not going to help a player using your computer or phone, how are you in any way a concierge? Furthermore, why isn’t this person instantly fired when someone sees this? Why do I care about your problems? I did not choose your job or your life. I do not care what you’re going through. When you fail to do your job and then work to make me feel like crap about my night, yep, I’m sure you’re the worst concierge ever.
This isn’t an isolated incident. I’ve been treated like shit on pretty much every poker tour and on every continent. Look, I’m sorry Nike told you, “you’re the man, it’s your world, just do it.” It’s not true. We all work with people when we’re tired or having a bad day. You’re not special, and guess what? In a professional setting no one gives a fuck what you’re going through. No one should care about you.
I have had fights with my family, girlfriend, and business associates and then had to do a lesson, do a meeting, or talk to another business associate. I want to go off about a small infraction in the next appointment but it’s not my right. My emotions are my responsibility. It’s not fair for me to just throw my bad day on everyone else.
Why do these idiots have jobs? Hey, guy at Starbucks, take your Weezer glasses and shove them up your ass. I don’t need a snarky comment about me saying the name of an order wrong. Yes, the error is obvious to you. You work here dumb shit, I don’t. Show some maturity and keep your sarcastic bullshit comment to yourself. If you need that little quip to feel good about yourself you’re not ready for the work force. Go the fuck home.
The flip side of this is the Costa Ricans. Yes, some kids here are put upon and insufferable. However, many times I see a woman or man is obviously tired or having a bad day, but you know what? They suck it up. They answer my questions calmly and they help me out. Maybe they can’t smile, they’re having a hard day, but they don’t take it out on me. They do their job because they are man or woman enough for that.
Every time I get one of these people I tip them quite a bit. It’s such a pleasure to be served by a professional or to do business with them. I always go to their establishment, I tell my friends to go, and I am really pleased when I see them in a better mood. I become friends with these people.
I wasn’t mature about my job or nice around a lot of people for a long time, but I was on drugs. I was young. I don’t know what most people’s excuse is. Once I got sober and older I realized how annoying it was to be around someone heaping their own baggage on you. Do these people not remember this when they’re helping someone?
I can always tell who can become a great poker player when somebody tells me, “I did something stupid” or “I made a huge mistake.” I recently was hired to help a large scale backer interview and analyze a large number of backing candidates. If I get a guy telling me what a badass they are, or never admitting to a mistake in a conversation, I go right past them.
There’s no room for improvement in that kind of jackass. There is nothing human about them. They’re just the best, haven’t you heard? Yet oddly, when you talk to really really successful poker players, they never think that much of themselves. There are exceptions, but most have a quiet firm confidence complemented by healthy self-awareness.
I just wish this was part of people’s education. I have not used 90% of the math I learned in high school, and I use math every single day in my job. I never used anything I learned from tens of subjects.
People told me those subjects are valuable to teach you how to study, work, and schedule. Okay, let’s start teaching people how to work with other people and analyze themselves. Let’s quit telling people they are special for just being born. Because I’m this close to smacking one of these entitled brats.
My Plugs: Check out my vids at Pocketfives Training, contact me for lessons at assassinatocoaching@gmail.com, see other stuff I write with my friends at www.pokerheadrush.com, and follow my Twitter at TheAssassinato