10/28/2012
Forget to eat most of the day. Probably five cups of coffee in. Cold pizza. I’m really stupid when I live on my own.
You plant a little tree burrowing through the Earth. You know it’s going to grow. You don’t expect the worms and weird bugs beneath the Earth. No one sees that in the their dreams of planting roots.
My fiancee went for a walk with her blind/deaf poodle mutt Chumi. His shaggy black ass huffed and puffed up the hills, ran from the horses, and sniffed her shoes to follow her the whole way.
I make all this money from running my mouth. On the keyboard, over the phone, just running it. Because I’m such a narcissist I believe what I says has value. Now I’ve proven it actually does.
Spending an hour drinking coffee and arranging the Hootsuite barrage. Yes I am overdoing it. I want every week to be like my first two weeks devoting myself to this coaching programme.
Bluff Europe, Bluff USA, Cardplayer, Pocketfives, TwoPlusTwo, Jaxtraw, Pocarr, the private ones, dizzy, so happy to grind, to love my job.
If you ever need to write do what Stephen King does. Turn music up very loudly, cover the windows, and give yourself an allotted time to explode. Do not reread anything you write. Editing comes later.
Someone’s blazing in a house near mine. I like the smell. Not because it’s lovely, but because I know now I’m completely free from it. I don’t want it when I smell it anymore. I can smell what they put in it there now, my addiction doesn’t override that common sense. I can smell the chemicals that once assisted me in my downfall. I am disgusted by them now. You do whatever you want with your body, but I’ll be just fine over here.
I just let myself waste away all day unshaven, not eating enough, and working into a delirium. That way when I run, eat, shave, and shower I feel reborn.
Everybody needs one day a month where they lose their mind.
This is the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. I’m just deathly afraid of waking up.
Nobody cares if you’re tired. Unless you really need to explain your behavior away, do not mention it.
I read the Bible for an hour and drink coffee. I run through the San Jose streets. I feel collected.
It’s worth getting depressed for how good a run with real hip hop feels.
“Take your madication.”
When I take my dog on a run he’s a bit peculiar. He can only take a shit in front of government housing. He especially prefers when there are 20 Nicaraguan men on the stoop, and the patch of grass is in their property.
Anxiety attrition assuaged. I know no stronger drug than reality. Night run anywhere is more cerebral than anything.
2.5 hours of a sweat for Pocarr team. Ran horrible in tournaments and great at 50 NL. Lost 70 bucks. Hopefully they learn something.
This is the seventh day in a row I have worked. I am putting in 10+ hours almost every single day.
One day this week Naty and I went to the Parque Del Este. It started raining. We hid in the play houses the kids use. Mayo ran around and had a good time getting muddy.
He ran up to a huge dog. He couldn’t perceive another dog would be bad. The dog put its mouth around Mayo. Mayo screamed bloody murder and flopped around in the mud. The owner got mad at his dog, but he seemed pretty tame. Dogs nip each other all the time. It’s just a little scary when your poodle fits into the jaws of another dog.
I put Mayo’s ragged wet ass in a Mega Super bag, and took him into the car. That was about my break this week, and watching Carrie for Halloween.
When you have a dream it pays to be ravenous. Wish I could say the same for my nervous system.
