Stutter And Start


You have now entered my daily journals. These blogs serve multiple purposes.

  1. Provide me a record of what I’m doing with each day. Which is great, because I can’t remember anything.
  2. Act as a sort of syllabus for myself and others. I often want to refer to an article I read one day and can’t find the link. People on Twitch ask for relevant information on the apps, music, movies, strategy articles, etc. I bring up. This will attempt to link them to all of those referenced materials.

Since it is my journal you might find me writing very much or very little. It depends on how I feel. 

At the very bottom of each entry there is a running tally of everything I did or experienced in the year. If any of the entries seem obscure or odd it is because I am a fiend for data. I didn’t put out the Assassinato HUD on accident. 

I also post many pictures, graphs, pie charts, and memes because they greatly amuse me. Enjoy.

To understand more about what’s going on here read my recap of 2015 along with my plans for 2016. 

My Battle Dropped:


Be sure to check out my full blog with analysis and Canon and I’s lyrics if you really enjoyed it. You’ll be amazed by how much you can miss in 25 minutes.

January 24th 2016:

I wake up psyched to play Sundays, and I’m not really sure why. I make coffee and breakfast for my wife and her band, who all crashed on my couches last night. I hit a wall shortly after. I try to meditate; it’s horrible. I clean and shower. That doesn’t jog anything. I meditate again. I play a limited schedule. Javier is over, and gets to see the awesome playoff game between Peyton Manning and Tom Brady. It’s incredible throughout. My mom loves watching with me, as she sits by me to do so. I then proceed to cash in not one tournament while watching Carolina execute Arizona. Everyone is pissed at Cam Newton, for no reason I can really discern. I just wish it was a better game.

Playoff Football:

It was a great time getting to watch football with my family again. My mom actually sat next to me while I was working so she could watch the big screen in my office. I also had Javier there, so I could teach him why it’s such a great game. Normally when I try to show people football it’s a hyper-confusing game with no real drama. This instead was a great game from the start up until the end.  It made the whole day a lot more fun.

January 25th 2016:

Wake up at 6:00 AM. I listen to the Scott Adams podcast Tim Ferriss did while running six miles. Do two lessons with Romanian students. Lift weights. Fix up the website, blog,  write Grind Music, and eat Lunch. I write 2,500 words. 20 minutes of email. Take a short read break. Twitch stream for a few hours. No results.

January 26 2016:

Lesson with a Filipino student. I pack to take my mother to the beach. I have a horrible allergy because of the construction going on my block, where all the debris is sifting down into my yard. We pack into a car. No space but plenty of AC. Drive to Jaco. Homemade lunch. Go the beach. My mom swims in the ocean despite huge waves, putting all the young men in my party to shame. We hang out at the pool, swimming through the deep end. I don’t think they even make pools this deep in the states anymore. We realize that last time we were in this hotel we actually accidentally walked into the dump that passes for a hotel next door and used their awful pool. This one is much nicer. Back in the beautiful room I read the Book of Joel through again. One of my friends from my wife’s band plays some super dark metal. The two work well together. We go out later for pupusas. We walk around Jaco. Pick up a great pizza at an Argentinian place and go home. I go on a reading marathon. I drink an energy drink to try and get five hours in, but I crash after two, listening to a podcast by myself as I pass out.

Mom Swimming In The Ocean:

My mom is not as fast on her feet as she used to be. My family takes good care of her, but it always pains me to see her not able to enjoy what was so simple to her before.

Taking her to the beach was incredible. There were huge waves on a surfing beach. I told everyone I was going swimming. My friends told me I was nuts. My mom said she was joining me. Now they thought both of us were insane.

The waves got 8-10 feet tall, but my mom just swam through them expertly, and paddled around like nothing changed. That was so fun to see.

Book Of Joel:

Opened this apocalyptic masterpiece with a full cup of coffee  and metal playing in the sweltering heat. I highly recommend it.

January 27th 2016:

I wake up to smell of the ocean and the sound of my friend strumming his guitar. I drink coffee and listen to metal. My wife makes breakfast. I read more of the Old Testament. Not sure why I’m on that tip. My mom and I have a long talk by the pool before going to lunch. I read the last Game Of Thrones book extensively back at the room before I go to Oscar-contender Dad Vs. Dad. We go to a pasta restaurant. In there is a bag of pasta I remember from Malta. I go home to dive into my books. I stay up later this night.

Tree House:

Outside all of the windows all I see is branches and foliage. Combined with the wood interior it makes me feel like I’m in a tree house. I seem to be floating in the rain forest as I walk outside, listening to my friend try new riff after new riff on his acoustic guitar.

I’m pretty sure this guy is going to make it, and when I look back on this moment in the future it’s going to seem strange.

Dad Vs. Dad:

I will not dignify this movie with a review. It’s pure Will Ferrel garbage.

My mom wanted to see it because she loves Mark Wahlberg. And like hell was I go to be caught in The Fifth Wave.

I went in, drank a big glass of Diet Coke, and laughed it up. The film was terrible. It was predictable. But when in Rome do as the Romans do.

I cannot understand people who will go into one of these movies and shake their heads and mutter throughout it. Why did you go in then?

Got Lost In The Reverie Of A Bag Of Pasta:

In this new pasta place in Jaco I saw a $5.00 bag of pasta about the size of my fist. It made me stop in my tracks.

That “delicacy” there were pawning off costs $1.00 in Malta, and it’s the worst pasta you can get at the store.

It was the same brand I ate three or four times a month. I’d opened so many of those bags in my muggy Mediterranean kitchen while Maltese yelled at each other from my apartment’s windowsills. I got fat off that pasta. I ate it while I watched Deuces Cracked videos.

It was eight years ago, so I’d completely forgotten about it. That’s why I write down everything. What a shame to lose your life. Here was something I’d used almost daily for a year, and I’d completely forgotten of it’s existence.

January 28th 2016:

We eat a homemade breakfast and then cramp into the car again to drive home. I, for some reason, find the middle seat in the back really comfortable. My house is clean for all of an hour when I’m home. I order food from a local Chinese restaurant, and have to scream at the guy 90 minutes later on the phone to get it delivered. He said he didn’t have my phone number. I read for an hour. I play for four hours on Twitch, while listening to the Take A Knee podcast with Daymond John and Church Clothes 3. I make the $55 $5,000 GTD final table, but have a fairly unceremonious bust out. I go back to trying to finish the mercilessly long fifth book in the Game Of Thrones series.

January 29th 2016:

Wake up at 11:30 because my assistant shut off my alarm when it got going. I try to shake off cursed dreams. I put “Cruising” on by Lecrae. There’s a line about waking up late. I feel good. God bless the Lord, and all who truly work for him. Respond to 70+ emails. It is enthralling. I write a new newsletter. I watch the news while chilling with my mom, before we go to see Concussion in Cine Magaly.

Be sure to check out my blog post reviewing the movie and my take on safety in American football.

January 30th 2016:

Wake up. Make eggs. Do taxes. I tell people to share the new battle. I send it to my nerd friends who love to blow up stuff like this. I need 1K views before I can peddle it elsewhere. Shower. Clean the house. I write a business proposal for an upcoming project. I do a lesson with a Canadian student. I do more work on my taxes. My wife and I have some friends over. She makes chalupas. I post my battle rap video on Pocketfives, and just stare at the responses. Drink some coffee. Watch UFC and basketball with my mom. I read the Bible while the game’s on. I love Galatians 6:3 to 6:5.

Sports, Coffee, Not Drinking, And A Party Around Me:

Heaven. I just love coffee, sports, and good conversation. My mom looking so content to be at a party, have a drink, and hang out with the kids really made my week. I always worry about her not getting out as much. It’s so good to just share time with her and talk. I also like to be sober when my friends are getting lit up. I can really track the keys then.

Galatians 6:3 to 6:5:

3How foolish can you be? After starting your Christian lives in the Spirit, why are you now trying to become perfect by your own human effort? 4Have you experienceda so much for nothing? Surely it was not in vain, was it?

5I ask you again, does God give you the Holy Spirit and work miracles among you because you obey the law? Of course not! It is because you believe the message you heard about Christ.

I love this section from the Bible so much. This would have taught me so much as a kid.

You cannot become perfect through your own effort. Seeking to improve your life internally by your own means has been proven to make you unhappy. Researchers have found only through working with and helping others can we ever be contented.

Everything you have experienced has prepared you for this moment. As long as you start making changes now then nothing was in vain.

January 31st 2016:

Wake up. Make eggs and sausage. Been cooking a lot of breakfasts for my mom. I get paid from a company, and a minute later a beggar shows up at my door. I give him $4.00 and some shoes of mine I don’t use anymore. Skrill blocks my account because of a suspicious log-in. I guess I should be grateful, but it prevents me from depositing money onto 888 to play the $1,000,000 GTD. Wonderful. I realize the house is destroyed from having my friends over the previous night. I spend two hours cleaning it. I go to play. I listen to Take A Knee with Jay Leno. I listen to School of Greatness with Daymond John.

February 1st 2016:

6:00 AM wake up. Protein shake. Run six miles. I do a lesson with an American gent. Lift weights. Stretch out my back. Write four articles, for 2,300+ words, whilst drinking coffee and listening to metal. I do a Duolingo lesson. I promote the battle to 1,000+ views. I experiment on “boosting” a post with Facebook. I post a new strategy article called “Our Self-Perception” for Poker Read Rush. Spend 15 minutes on my email. Process videos. Meditate. I call Skrill to spend an hour on the phone with them, taking photos of my ID, to get my account back. I Twitch stream. I listen to School Of Greatness with Lisa Nichols. I do commentary at the end of my stream. Promote. Get out there. Wrap up, and finish A Dance With Dragons.


Be sure to check out my review of A Dance Of Dragons.

February 2nd 2016:

6:00 AM wake up. My wife is awake because she couldn’t sleep. She proposes we go for a walk together. I catch a bus back. I fail to do a lesson with a French student, as we have a serious problem with the software. We end up just catching up. I write 2,300 words in The Myth Of Poker Talent in 75 minutes. I get an allergy attack while making my mom lunch. I go for allergy meds and then clean my house. I lay down. I don’t want to get up. I read The Bible, The Washington Post, and the School Of Greatness book. I write 700 more words when I get up, much more painfully, for a final 3,000. I do weights and stretches, and then post on Poker Head Rush. I do a Duolingo lesson. Listen to Reasonable Doubt while cleaning. I have my coffee with a Chilean tort. I work on one of my upcoming webinars. Pay bills. Fill the loose leaf.  Dinner. Meditate. Twitch session. Read.

Walking At 6:00 AM With My Wife And No Coffee:

I normally need coffee the moment I wake up. The only reason I can do without some mornings is because the cold morning air and running wakes me up. It’s actually a great joy to wake up through sweat and then really get the circuits running with a huge cup of Costa Rica’s finest.

This was not like that. I stumbled outside with my wife happy to be with her but extremely sleepy.

It bothers me how little time her and I get with our schedules. We both work many 60 hour weeks and our days off don’t always line up.

This was such a great opportunity, but what if I couldn’t be present? I hate it when I finally get some time with my loved ones and I’m not there.

What actually happened was with no caffeine running through me I was able to shut up and listen to my wife for an hour. I learned so much about where she’s coming from right now. It was such a great experience.

February 3rd 2016:

6:30 AM wake up. Protein shake. Run six miles. Lesson with a Portuguese student. Work on the upcoming webinars. Email lesson videos and receipts. Listen to this fire album by Richie Cunning. Memorize 12 bars. Duolingo lesson. Meditate. Lunch. Post a small blog on PHR about a rant I got on with reading a quote. Write 3,000 words like nothing into The Myth Of Poker Talent. It’s so much easier when you don’t have to stop every 15 minutes to make graphs, charts, and ranges to be photographed and inserted into the text. Lift weights. Take a short break to read. Dinner. Promote the battle video. Grind session. Pick up a book on Audible to listen to while I play – Content Rules. I final table the $33 $3,000 GTD on America’s Cardroom. I finish 24th in the Wednesday $320 on Pokerstars. My stream has 500+ simultaneous viewers at it’s peak. I throw myself into the product. We get a bunch of new Twitch subscribers, sign-ups for the newsletter and views on the battle. I pass out at 2:00 AM, if not later.

Audio Books:

I have no idea why I didn’t think of this: I’m sitting for 2 to 10 hours a day. Most of what I do is pretty instantaneous. 99% of decisions can not really be overruled. If a number says a certain value then it demands a certain input. As long as you can read that number and you have no strong read there is no need to change the play.

I’ve been listening to podcasts, but why? I can listen to an entire popular nonfiction book in one session. This will up my study game incredibly.

Note: I would not recommend this for people who have not been playing online poker for a very long time, or do not have an extremely statistic-dependent game.

New Set Up:

This wouldn’t be possible without my new set-up. I always needed a second monitor to do Twitch effectively. However, my hyper-fast and stable computer has a problem. I tried to install the necessary video card years ago, but it overheated constantly. I’m not sure why. Other people with the same model do not have the problem.

So, I grabbed my new laptop, connected Synergy to it so I could use the same mouse and keyboard to operate computers, and voila. I have the ability to manage social media and chat on one computer, while my work computer is still for only poker.

I can also play good music on my main computer for the Twitch viewers and play my Audible audio books on my laptop. Boom.

February 4th 2016:

7:30 AM wake up. I’ve had 16.5 hours of sleep in the last three days days. Protein shake. Do a new Oneouter podcast. Weights. Shave. Shower. Clean desk. Emails. Lunch. Meditate. Drink coffee while listening to thrash and writing in the book The Myth Of Poker Talent. It’s harder than the day before because of how tired I was from playing till 2:00 AM the day before. I get 3,000 words done. I proceed to try and write a new article for my newsletter readers. I get 800 words in before I realize I told my mom I was going to take her out. We take the bus to the local mall, get pupusas, hang out, and watch Creed. I’m in tears about how beautiful this movie is. It’s perfect. We get home, I put some coffee on, and I write 1,200 more words. I realize I’m 2,000 words into a newsletter with no end in sight. It’s just so effortless to write it and enjoyable. It’s a culmination of all my years of work. I have a product. A great product. For a webinar. For an ebook. I need it for that. I decide to use the newsletter as an opportunity to send an article I really liked, but it only ran online for a week before it got taken down. Once I send it I realize that it’s in some weird font that I didn’t choose for it. At midnight I finally get around to tithing. I lay down and read for a couple hours.

Be sure to check out my review of Rocky.

February 5th 2016:

I wake up at 9:45. My wife makes breakfast for everyone. I make the coffee. We pack into the car and drive into the foothills of Cartago. We eat at an incredible family-owned restaurant. We order a meal for two people, hoping it will be enough. We get a pound of cheese, bowls of beans, plantains, pork, chicken, steak, patacones, tortillas, and ice tea. We all stuff ourselves, and still have food left over for about a week. We go to a local park here which has the ruins of a 1920’s sanitarium. We come home. I get some delicacies from the bakery here to introduce my mom to with coffee. I read The Bible, the newspaper, and School Of Greatness. I decide I need to get up and do something, so I get up and grab an energy drink from the corner store, and sit down to write this blog.

Exploring The Ruins Of A Dilapidated Sanitarium:

My wife and I got to take my mother to a sanitarium that’s been abandoned. It was chilling to see the children’s wings, the walls decorated with the hand prints of kids who passed from tuberculosis. The low ceilings made for some extremely claustrophobic moments. It makes you wonder how they housed people with Schizophrenia there.

My wife at one point sang opera in what can only be described as a chamber. After walking out of a morgue it was fairly terrifying. The echo and acoustics made us feel pretty off. It was only fitting when everyone’s cameras stopped functioning.

Everything Streamlining:

I feel like things are really coming together at the start of this year.

With the Way Of Life App I’m able to remind myself what I should be doing every day. I can track my every necessary habit and review the progress.

I never knew what to use my white board for. I never was able to use it as a To-Do List since it’d eventually get overloaded. Now I just write tasks that need to be done once, since they don’t fit into my Way Of Life lists.

I didn’t have a way to read more, no matter how fast I scanned the words. Now with audio books I can get so much more done.

I have a new time slot to play poker in. I don’t feel like I’m losing my evenings, because I can “read” while I work. When I get on the mic there’s a few hundred people there to talk to. I have an audience to bring all my work to.

I have a time to listen to trance, metal, and hip hop. I’m able to listen to practically any new album with Spotify. Listening to new metal albums and drinking great coffee has me writing 3,000+ words for my book every day.

My improved diet and exercise has me able to sleep six hours and feel rested. Now every day I have time to post new articles to Pokerheadrush, get physical therapy, listen to new albums, play poker, Twitch stream, study a foreign language, lift weights, run, check out new podcasts, experiment, play with my dogs, read, study poker, call my family members, write bars, ignore email, meditate, get up in The Word, and write books. Who gets to live like this?

I have ideas and a path that can make real money, and most importantly I have family and friends I can elevate with that money.  I have more opportunities than ever before.

Now if I could just find time to play some video games.

Accomplished In 2016:

Lived In 2016: